


but if we're talking body

by CalledFor



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:20:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalledFor/pseuds/CalledFor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As mentioned in the fic - The worst case of sexual frustration Laura Hollis had ever encountered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	but if we're talking body

**Author's Note:**

> Let's just disregard canon for a bit. Carmilla is sleeping on the couch. Laura has the bedroom. This takes place before and around the time of ep 2.16.   
> Tip: listen to youtu.be/MhSKRfmHUxk for extra feels.
> 
> Apologies for any grammatical errors. I'm sure there are many, with me being Norwegian and all.
> 
> Also, I go by honestlynatalie on tumblr. Come talk about whatever you want with me!

Living with Carmilla as a roommate had been one of the more challenging prospects of college life. Being invested in the well-being of the student body of said college, while living with Carmilla as an ex-girlfriend was by far the worst possible outcome of Laura’s journey into adulthood. Honestly, despite the familiarity of Carmilla’s old behavior, she was not prepared for this situation at all. Who the hell changes their pads in the living room?!

Laura wasn’t entirely sure what the proper protocol was when your girlfriend breaks up with you, but decides to keep living with you because, technically, the abandoned apartment you’re living in is hers. She had quickly made the choice to disregard any possible protocol as soon as Carmilla had started disregarding basic courtesy. It wasn’t like Laura had expected much politeness, but to watch her completely turn from, “Whatever you need,” to this closed off, cold memory of her old roommate was eerie.

Having what was basically the school’s fate resting on her tiny shoulders definitely wasn’t what she signed up for in the first place. With a rude vampire ex-girlfriend on top of that, Laura was close to giving up entirely. All of the responsibility was taking its toll on her. She needed something to change soon, for something to just go their way.

But this was Silas; nothing good happened here. At least not anymore. She lost that one good thing. What’s worse, she didn’t even have time to properly process it. There was just too much else to think about.

Which is why Laura closed the bedroom door that night with a particularly loud sigh. She leaned her back against it, closing her eyes. If she stayed here like this for a while, she could pretend that everything was fine. She reached her hand to fumble at the wall, searching for the light switch. When she found it, she flicked it and the room was bathed in darkness. Opening her eyes now, it felt safer. Carmilla was just out. She would be back soon to slip into bed with her and pull Laura close. The thought made her smile. It also made her whole body ache with the need to feel her again. Maybe she could just…

Laura walked towards her bed, stripping out of her clothes on the way. She didn’t bother picking them up and folding them neatly. All she wanted was to relax and forget. Leaving on her t-shirt and her panties, she slipped under soft covers. She turned to her stomach and buried her face in a pillow, inhaling the very faint, but so familiar and comforting scent of Carmilla. Here alone, where no one could see, she could push her worries away and indulge in fantasies that had been playing with the back of her mind ever since she heard Carmilla moan her name for the first time.

They hadn’t had much time to concentrate on each other since coming back to Silas, but the few times they had been able to, had left more than enough material for Laura to come up with a whole range of different scenarios. She would be lying to herself if she denied thinking about having Carmilla while they were still roommates, but there was just something about having experienced the real thing that made her imagination work ten times faster. And boy, did it work right now.

The pillow worked as a poor substitute for her ex, but the smell of her was still there, so Laura put her arm around it and dragged it closer. She clutched her hand into the soft material and rested her body half on top of it. Still inhaling all the remaining traces of the soft skin she longed for, she slid her other hand down, down to her lower stomach.  Fingers traced the hem of her underwear and suddenly they weren’t her own. It was Carmilla’s hand on her. It was Carmilla surrounding her, not the warm comforter. She wasn’t one for making noise when touching herself, but she had to gasp at the feeling of wetness coating her fingers and she bit her lip when she started moving her hips. Grinding down on her own fingers like this made them run perfectly over her clit. She began moving faster, panting into the pillow, basically humping her own hand. Damn, did she need this. This would be over quick, she thought as the image of a certain someone draped over her back flashed before her eyes.

Wanting more, Laura traced her fingers downwards and slid them inside. She almost felt Carmilla’s breath in her ear and her breasts on her back.

“Fuck!” Okay, maybe some noise after all. This was becoming very intense and she was already very close. It felt incredibly good to be doing this and not thinking about anything but Carmilla whispering dirty words into her ear, telling her how much she loved being inside her. She was so worked up. The heat was almost too much for her, but she kept moving, her hips thrusting into her hand. The t-shirt was clinging to her sweaty body and she was heaving for air. She pushed the pillow away; she didn’t need it anymore. Carmilla was all over her, making her com-

A noise in the hallway interrupted her.

 _Shit._ Laura stilled her movements. She felt muscles clench around her fingers in protest. The door opened and she quickly turned around, wiping her fingers on the sheets. She sat up and pulled the covers close.

The light from the hallway perfectly framed the familiar figure in the doorway. Laura swallowed, tugging the covers even closer. “What are you doing here?” she asked in the most calm voice she could muster in that moment. In hindsight, she wished she had put on a much more pissed off sound to it. Because that’s what she was, her frustration at not getting any release very evident in the way she immediately imagined Carmilla crossing the room and kissing her. _Stop thinking about that_ , she mentally chided herself.

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt your fun evening, Cupcake.” The way she said it told Laura she knew exactly what had been going on here, but she’d be damned if she’d admit it.

“Fun evening? I was sleeping, Carm.” _God damn it, don_ _’_ _t call her that._ She was pretty pleased with how annoyed she managed to sound. Carmilla wasn’t welcome here at the moment and she wanted her to know.

“Really? From what I heard it sounded like the complete opposite.” Laura could barely make out the smirk gracing Carmilla’s features in the dark and it made her furious.

“Maybe I was having a bad dream. You know what, I don’t remember. What the hell do you want, Carmilla? I need to sleep.”

“Just came to get this,” Carmilla said in amusement while taking slow, graceful steps towards the bed. Laura flinched away when Carmilla bent over to grab the very pillow Laura had gasped into moments before. The vampire huffed at Laura’s twitch before turning back.

“Hope you have a _satisfying_ night’s sleep,” she hummed before walking out and closing the door.

Laura fell back into the bed, groaning. There was no way she wanted to continue her little escape from reality after that. It took way too long, but eventually sleep crept over her. She dreamt about panthers and crows and swords that night. When she woke up the next morning It didn’t feel like she had slept all.

* * *

 

After finally forcing herself to get out of bed and go downstairs, Laura sat down as usual in front of her computer to edit some of her video footage. Breakfast didn’t really appeal to her that particular morning, so she made do with a packet of cookies. She lost count of how many she ate, but stopped when she started feeling nauseous (it could have something to do with watching a clip of Carmilla spilling blood on the living room carpet) and pushed the remaining cookies away, almost to the edge of the table she sat at.

A smug laughter behind her made her jump in her chair.

“Whoops, looks like you caught me ruining my own carpet. Because, you know, this being my apartment and all.” Laura turned around to look at Carmilla stretching on the couch. She couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting over her smooth body as she pushed her chest upwards. Covered only in a white tank top and a pair of black panties, she was a sight to behold. Carmilla stood up and ran a hand through her hair, tossing it all directions. Laura swallowed. _I am a nice person. I don_ _’_ _t deserve this._

She was not prepared for all of this hotness so early in the morning, especially not for Carmilla to be sauntering over to her with that look in her eyes. Laura instinctively leaned backwards in her chair when she came closer. She made the quick decision to just try ignoring her and started turning towards the computer, reaching her hand forward.

That’s when Carmilla grabbed a hold of her wrist. _What the-_

Laura watched, almost hypnotized as Carmilla lifted her hand to her nose. She saw her nostrils flare and her upper lip slightly twitch when the vampire inhaled. Immediately she felt her pulse between her legs. It was enough to remind her of what she didn’t finish last night and how much she wished she had. When a warm breath caressed the palm of her hand, it woke Laura up and she yanked it back.

“What the hell, Carm!?” She held onto her hand with the other like Carmilla had done something that hurt. It really didn’t.

The only thing holding her back from actually testing her Krav Maga skills on a supernatural being was her remaining two percent of better judgement. The self-satisfied look on Carmilla’s face almost set her off though. Almost.

“I was only checking to see if my senses had betrayed me. Because I seem to recall a certain someone denying what was clearly happening in the master bedroom last night. I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt, but that’s really difficult when you’re wearing the truth so blatantly on your, well, I don’t know if _sleeve_ is the right word here, but definitely close enough.” Carmilla only winked before bending past Laura to grab a cookie and then she walked out of the room.

Laura couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this embarrassed. It wasn’t even the masturbating – that was completely normal and she was comfortable enough with her sexuality. No, it was the fact that she had been doing it _there_ , while thinking about _her,_ and Carmilla surely knew that. Her face burned from the memory and of course arousal. _What the hell is wrong with you?_ She mentally shouted while scowling down at her own lap.

* * *

 

The next days would soon develop into the worst case of sexual frustration Laura Hollis had ever encountered.

She knew Carmilla would try to get to her, knew she would tease her. But she had never imagined this. Now that Carmilla was aware of Laura’s obvious attraction to her, she seemed determined to use it as a weapon of torture. In fact, things were so bad she found herself wishing for Carmilla to just start breaking her belongings instead. Hell, Laura wouldn’t even mind if she decided to fling all sorts of horrible words at her. Anything to make the teasing stop. She knew what Carmilla felt like, knew how she tasted, how she sounded when Laura touched her. Wasn’t there some spell to erase memories? This was Silas after all. Except she didn’t really want to forget it. She wanted it back.

She tried making a video about it, showing her viewers how bad it was, while doing her best to sound angry about the lack of manners instead of letting everybody know how badly she needed to get laid. Who knows if it worked. All she knew was that this whole situation wasn’t helping her taking care of the school. So many students depended on her and they didn’t even know it. Laura wanted to do everything she could to prevent people from getting hurt. And while she wasn’t the only one trying, she felt more alone now than ever. _All because of that stupid, useless vampire._

Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she channeled all of it into anger. What better way to get things done? It kept her slightly more focused. So every time Laura saw that gorgeous body in her peripheral vision, she bit her lip until it hurt and held on to the frustration.

It tended to work for short periods of time and she actually got a few things done, but however much she tried fooling herself, it became incredibly tiring. It became more work than actual work. Especially the few times she allowed her thoughts to remind her that this wasn’t really about the sexual frustration at all. That little four-letter word had haunted her ever since Carmilla let it slip out while breaking up with her. _Who even does that?_ Laura wondered approximately four hundred times a day before neatly wrapping those thoughts into little boxes and hiding them in the farthest corner of her mind.

* * *

 

After turning her camera off for the night, Laura got up from her chair and headed towards the stairs to go to bed.

She closed her eyes in denial when she heard Carmilla scoff from her couch behind her. Laura stopped in the doorway and turned around.

“What?” She really didn’t need this right now. She felt as if the smallest sentence would set her off. Not that she could actually do anything but throw a tantrum or something. The thought made her feel useless.

“Nothing, Creampuff.” Carmilla’s voice was glazed with sugar. It made Laura’s stomach tighten. The vampire rose from her seat and slowly made her way towards her. This time she didn’t move. She would stand her ground, even straightening up. Laura felt like she probably looked stupid standing there like a solider, but she didn’t care. Whatever Carmilla had in store wouldn’t get to her.

“I’m just keeping myself entertained by watching you and your little lackeys running around, thinking you’re doing any difference. As if any of it matters.”

Laura clenched her jaw and her breathing sped up. _I can_ _’_ _t listen to this._ So much for not letting it get to her. Carmilla knew how difficult it was for her to not be able to help more. She was pushing all the right buttons.

And she continued, “Do you think-“

“Okay, can you just- just shut up!”

Laura figured she looked more taken aback by her own outburst than Carmilla did. She was just staring at her with a raised eyebrow, as if she was expecting a continuation. Laura wasn’t even sure she had one. She ran a hand through her hair and let out a heavy breath.

“I can’t do this. This isn’t working at all. I can’t breathe. I can’t concentrate on helping people when you’re- You’re just everywhere, Carm. I can’t- I didn’t want this to happen.” She could feel her composure slipping away. There was just so much anger. It felt like the walls were infested with it, just closing in on them.

“And I’m going to leave. You- You broke up with me and you’re right, this is your place. I should’ve just left right away.” _Please not now_ , she thought as tears started welling up in her eyes. Laura turned away, trying to hold on to all the anger so she wouldn’t collapse on the floor. She was so tired.

“Where will you go?” Carmilla’s voice had turned steady behind her, not a trace of emotion to be heard now.

“I don’t know. I assume you want us all gone, so we’ll find something. JP probably has some suggestions.” The words flew out of her mouth harshly, twisted with irritation. She heard movement and just knew Carmilla was coming closer. After days of constant teasing and sneaking around, she had learned all the signs and she expected all her moves. It was always so obvious; she was surprised Carmilla didn’t put more effort into hiding her little game of seduction. But what bothered her the most was that it worked perfectly. She couldn’t remember being this worked up back when they were just roommates.

Laura felt the heat of Carmilla’s body behind her, even her breath on her shoulder, and goosebumps were quickly spreading across her skin. It only made her more frustrated and it pissed her off. “Can you stop? Stop acting like you-“ She paused, contemplating whether to admit it or not. _Oh fuck it. We both know._ “Like you don’t know what that does to me.” She stepped forward to get away from the one thing she wanted more than anything, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

“Carmilla, for god’s sake-“

She was interrupted when she got spun around to look into eyes she had avoided for days. The proximity was unexpected, but so damn familiar. It felt so good. It was excruciating to want her so much, but not being able to touch. Laura swallowed and held her breath.

“I don’t want you to go.”

Well, that was new. She figured she heard wrong, that somehow her brain had twisted Carmilla’s words into exactly what she wanted to hear. Words that made her heart pound in her chest and her stomach twist into knots. There was no way she heard right.

“What did you just say?”

Carmilla sighed in what actually seemed like defeat before speaking the words, “I don’t want you to go,” again. It was clear as day, in a voice that now sounded like she was annoyed that she had to say it and angry that it was true. Her other hand landed on Laura’s waist to pull her closer. _Oh, dear god. What is she doing?_

Laura watched her ex open her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Her features twisted into a frown, looking bothered that she couldn’t say whatever it was she wanted to say. Laura felt slightly satisfied with this little victory and would’ve thrown out a snarky comment all Carmilla-style, had it not been for how unbelievably speechless she was from having Carmilla’s face inches away.

She saw the decision being made in Carmilla’s eyes a split second before a hot, hot mouth planted a desperate kiss on her lips. It would probably have been a good idea to push her away and possibly slap her for having the nerve, but Laura was far beyond smart choices at this point and eagerly greeted this turn of events. Chanting _thank you thank you thank you_ in her head to whatever entity that was listening, she slid her hands around Carmilla’s waist and held on for dear life before gathering the sense to return the kiss.

Okay, this was quickly turning into their most ardent make-out session yet, Laura thought as Carmilla’s mouth continued to rapidly grace over her lips, running a warm tongue between them. She let out the moan that had been building in her throat when sharp teeth tugged at her bottom lip. It made Laura surge forward to push her body into Carmilla’s. God, she needed an outlet for all the frustration and rage that had been building up these last days. She bit back, not caring about being gentle. She was rewarded with a groan and a pair of hands on the small of her back, pressing her even closer.

Laura reached for the buttons of her own shirt, undoing them as fast as their bodies' non-existent distance allowed. It was apparently not fast enough for Carmilla because she grabbed the shirt tightly and ripped the last buttons apart.

"Hey, I liked that shirt," Laura groaned against Carmilla's mouth. The shirt was already on the floor.

"It wasn't even yours and I really don't give a shit," Carmilla said before grabbing Laura's thighs and lifting her up.

Laura chose to ignore her annoyance at Carmilla’s carelessness and immediately responded by wrapping her arms around Carmilla's neck and her legs around her waist. She'd never admit it, but little displays of strength like this turned her on beyond belief. She liked being picked up (or pinned down) while Carmilla took the reins. She couldn't help but moan at the hands groping her behind and she latched her lips back on Carmilla's.

Walking backwards, Carmilla led them to the couch she had been sleeping on for the past week. When the edge hit the back of her legs, she sat down with Laura straddling her. Carmilla made quick work of loosening Laura’s bra to fling it away, almost as if the garment had offended her. Her better judgement was nagging at the back of her head, telling her that they probably shouldn’t do this, but then sharp, sharp fangs scraped down Laura’s chest and she was suddenly busy being outraged and very turned on by the marks being imprinted right over her heart _. This has got to be some horrible metaphor,_ Laura thought before Carmilla practically shoved her backward.

“What the-“

“Get up. Get rid of the pants.” The look in Carmilla’s eyes did wonders to Laura’s libido. She did as she was told, arousal clouding her mind and pushing away that little slice of sensibility she had left.

When she fumbled with the button, Carmilla grumbled, “Oh, for fucks sake!” and pushed Laura’s hands away. Agile fingers popped the button, pulled the zipper and roughly dragged pants and underwear down her legs. The vampire’s jaw clenched at sight of Laura completely bare in front of her. After some awkward jumping to get her socks off (Laura’s legs were quite unstable), Carmilla leaned forward to put her open mouth on her hipbone, swirling her tongue around it.

“Jesus!” Laura’s hips jerked forward and her fingers tangled in Carmilla’s hair. She groaned at the feeling of that tongue moving across her lower stomach. _So close. Come on._ She knew Carmilla could smell how badly she needed this. _Just a little bit further down._ She probably dragged the hair between her fingers too hard, even pushed her downwards like some impatient teenager, but Laura was too mad to even consider being nice.

Carmilla seemed to take notice of this exasperated behavior and decided to pull back, much to Laura’s disappointment. She shot a wicked grin up at her and then she grabbed one of Laura’s hands to yank her back down in her lap. Laura moaned at the urgency of it.

“Is this what you’ve been thinking about, Laura?” _My name, she's saying my name again,_ and it had never sounded hotter. “My hands on you?” Warm hands were splayed out on her thighs, slowly moving upwards and squeezing down possessively. “My tongue in your mouth?” The questions were whispered against her lips before Carmilla kissed her again to show her exactly what she meant. _God, she_ _’_ _s so full of herself_. Laura would have denied all of it, had it not been so painfully true. Instead, she grabbed a fistful of dark hair and tugged so hard Carmilla had no choice but to expose her pale neck to Laura’s keen mouth. She latched onto the skin, using her teeth to communicate feelings that had built up because of Carmilla’s cruel taunting. The little whimpers she got in return made her hips rut forward in an attempt to alleviate the throbbing between her legs.

Carmilla’s hands lifted from her thighs to pull off her own shirt and throw it across the room, before they landed on Laura’s ass and made her grind against her stomach. “Fuck, Laura,” Carmilla growled at the feeling of how evidently Laura wanted her. Laura however, was very occupied with the delicious friction her stomach provided, far beyond being embarrassed about keeping up this rhythm until she found some release. She’d been on the edge for days.

But Carmilla had other plans. She slid her hands to her hips, spreading her fingers so her thumbs stroked Laura’s inner thighs and pushed her slightly back. Laura made a sound of protest and bit down harder into her neck. The rage hadn’t calmed down for a second. She hated wanting her this much, constantly thinking about her when she should’ve been concentrating on other things, _important things._ The guilt was eating at her, tearing her down.

Carmilla hissed in pain, but kept holding her still. “Look at me.” Laura felt as if that voice was scorching her insides and burning her up. She released Carmilla’s skin and lifted her head to look at her. She felt herself clench at the sight of fangs protruding from between red lips. “Keep your eyes on me,” Carmilla continued. Laura didn’t think she could be more furious at this whole situation. The one thing she didn’t want was to look at her. It wasn’t what she needed right now. She needed to get off and then-

She didn’t even know what would happen next. Nor did she care.

Even through this internal struggle, she kept her eyes locked on Carmilla’s, simply because that’s what she asked of her. She practically commanded it and that turned her on even more. _Pathetic, Hollis. So pathetic._

 _Oh._ “God!”

Two fingers stroked oh so lightly between her thighs, making her eyes flutter. This time it was Carmilla’s turn to tug at her hair. She sounded just as angry as Laura felt when growling, “Look. At. Me.” Panting, Laura braced herself by holding onto Carmilla’s neck with one hand and her shoulder with the other. “Fine, I’ll look at you. So you can find your god damned twisted satisfaction at torturing me for days and- and then turning me into this,” she snarled. She had already made herself far too vulnerable for comfort by letting it get this far anyway. Why not just talk freely about it? _Yes, Carmilla. I fucking want you. Now do something about it._

And of course Carmilla smirked at that, exposing her fangs more and looking like the mischievous cat she was at heart. Laura couldn’t do anything but sigh and grind down to meet those fingers when they slid inside. Her face twisted into a wanton frown. Oh, what a sight this must have been to the vampire staring into her eyes. She was sure she looked absolutely helpless to the pleasure that washed over her when Carmilla let go of her hair to claw down her back, pushing her into the hand that began working her towards orgasm.

Laura wanted to wipe that smirk of her face, but that was a task far too difficult when Carmilla was making her feel so good that she could only whine louder than what was probably appropriate when living with three other people. Thankfully, they had all gone to bed. She was glad no one could see them now, fucking out of fury.

It was nothing more than that. It didn’t mean anything.

Suddenly, she couldn’t look at Carmilla anymore. It made her _feel_ and hurt. It made her think and that certainly wasn’t what she needed with those unholy fingers playing her and making her sing filthy moans. It drove Carmilla wild; Laura was aware of that much. And she relished in the knowledge, so she let go to grab onto the couch for leverage. Her mouth found Carmilla’s ear.

“No, I’m done looking at you.” She was so out of breath, she barely got the words out. “Just please don’t stop!”

And Carmilla didn’t. She only huffed in disagreement before tightening her arm around Laura’s waist and tilting them to pin her down on the couch. As soon as her back hit the soft surface, dark curly hair covered parts of her face and fingers slid deeper. It was unfair how good it felt. Carmilla buried her face in the crook where neck met shoulder. Laura gasped for breath when she felt sharp points rasp against her skin, but never breaking it. They hadn’t gone further when they were still together and somehow she knew Carmilla wouldn’t allow herself to bite her like this. Laura hated herself for wanting it, but Carmilla didn’t deserve the satisfaction. A faint voice in the back of her head whispered, _maybe you deserve it though? The pain, the punishment? After all, you hurt her._

She fought back tears and clung to Carmilla’s back. _She hurt me too_. In fact, she seemed to keep trying to every day. Laura raked her fingers down her back and decided to take whatever pleasure she could get from this, bucking her hips up to meet that treacherous hand. Shivers ran down her spine when Carmilla groaned against her throat at the nails now digging trails of blood in her shoulders.

“Fuck!”

“Fuck you!” The words were out before Laura could stop them. Her eyes opened to stare at the high ceiling in anticipation of Carmilla pulling away. It had been a pure reflex at Carmilla’s exclamation and an even purer admission of her inner turmoil. As soon as fiery lips left her clavicle to curl into a smirk above her, Laura realized it hadn’t worked as an insult, but defeat. She cursed herself for being the cause of that conceited look. All movement had stopped too. It took all remaining self-restraint in Laura to not simply fuck herself on Carmilla’s hand.

“Well, well Creampuff. I didn’t think you had it in you. But right now it seems to be the other way around, doesn’t it?” A thumb started slowly rubbing her clit to prove her point and Laura’s eyes rolled back. She couldn’t hold back a thick sob when Carmilla started moving her hand again, the pace even faster now.

Laura covered her face with her hands as the vampire leaned down to drag her tongue from her stomach to her breast and sucked a hard nipple into her mouth. Her tongue swirled and laved around it, and her teeth bit and pulled. It drove Laura close to what felt like insanity. How could something this painful feel so good? It was all wrong, so destructive.

 _It_ _’_ _s so good. She_ _’_ _s so good, I can_ _’_ _t breathe,_ Laura thought as Carmilla met her mouth in what couldn’t even be called a kiss. It was just open mouths and tongues brushing between gasps. She was so close now, wet sounds and panting invading her ears. Still, it wasn’t enough. She needed more, she needed-

“It feels good, right? Being fucked by a monster?” Carmilla drawled in her ear and roamed her fingers over her breasts. “No one will ever fuck you better than this. You already know it and you resent it.” The words burned. They hurt. Oh god, they hurt because they were true. Carmilla saw right through her, knew exactly how she affected her – and Laura got off on it.

She had wanted so badly for Carmilla to be who Laura thought she could be – someone who would ultimately do right and change for the better. But it would never work out that way. Carmilla would never become her hero and it made Laura unable to justify loving her. And she absolutely did. She was in love with Carmilla and in this weak moment of self-hatred, she let herself take comfort in whatever pleasure she could get from her. It was the most selfish act she had ever committed.

“Come on now, sweetheart.” The term of endearment was dripping of sarcasm. “Show me how much you love this.” Her tone was taunting, spiteful, but curse her body and her mind, did it do the trick.

Laura lost all sense of reality when the tension in her body finally let go. She choked on her own moans, couldn’t even scream when she came around Carmilla’s fingers. The sound that escaped her mouth was unrecognizable to her, the pleasure so intense she didn’t even notice her body lifting off the couch to greedily meet the remaining thrusts working inside her quivering cunt. It was pure bliss and she forgot, she forgot everything in that moment. She could only feel the warm body on top of her, loving her in the most primal of ways.

Simply physical, temporary relief.

When she opened her eyes, Carmilla had already put her clothes back on. She was staring down at her and Laura suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable under her vicious stare. Sitting up, she looked to the floor for something to cover her naked body with, but everything was scattered around the room. She quickly grabbed a pillow from the couch and squeezed her arms around it.

“I changed my mind,” Carmilla whispered. Her whole demeanor had changed. Gone was the sass and the confidence. The last and only other time Laura had seen her like this was when, _oh god, in the video when I was possessed by her mother._

“I want you gone when I get back.” And then she walked out.

Laura felt like the air got knocked out of her lungs. She gasped for oxygen, but it only turned into heavy sobs. Clutching the pillow to her chest, she let the realization of what had just happened completely take her over and her previous thoughts returned. _Maybe you deserve it? The pain, the punishment?_

After all, who was the real monster?


End file.
